Everyone has one. That friend, family member, or co-worker. You are discouraged because of some failure. And while you are going through a rough time with the challenging emotions dealing with this thing that went wrong, they say things like
- “it wasn’t that bad”
- “it could be worse”
- “just try to be positive”
You are thinking of that person right now, aren’t you?
You grit your teeth. You try hard not to let them see your eye roll as you smile at them, wishing they would go away. It’s hard enough to remain positive and happy after a failure without outside comments. Staying positive is often much easier said than done.
You wonder if it is even possible.
The simple answer is yes. The harder answer is it must be done by you.
What is it? Mindset – a change of Perspective. Why not! You are processing the emotions of failure anyway.
By changing your perspective of failure into a positive, you choose to focus on the ‘sunny side’ of the situation.
What does it mean to see the “sunny side” of a failure?
The phrase “look at the sunny side” is most likely something you have heard multiple times. But it truly is more than cliché, spoken without thinking.
Seeing the sunny side is a choice to find the little spot of goodness within something negative or bad. Going through a failure can be rough – it can lead to you feeling bad about yourself or the experience. It can lead to embarrassment or self-doubt over what happened. You metaphorically see yourself as that character in a cartoon comic strip walking with your head down and a dark cloud over you. You wonder if the sun will ever shine in your life.
Choosing to see the ‘sunny side’ brings a different perspective to the situation. It means you’re consciously searching for one little bit of light to shine through the negative emotions and thoughts. It’s that little ray of light that will help you move past the emotions of failure, and open to new possibilities.
There are many ways to help you change your perspective from failure to opportunity. Here I want to explore 4 things you can do to help you begin to see a small ray of sunshine.
- Focus on the lessons learned from the failure.
Every failure/mistake/error is a chance to learn something new about yourself, about other people, about the event/situation/ or even the world around you. Yes, this time your efforts failed, but look at the knowledge you gained that will help you avoid repeating the same thing again. This bit of light gives you the power to choose to use the knowledge and protect yourself from similar mistakes again.
- Focus on what you still have
It is easy to become so consumed with what went wrong, that you forget what is still right. A good way to pull yourself out of that darkness is to find some light in what is still going well in your life, no matter how small the ray. For example, even though a project at work has totally busted, remember you still have your family, friends, career, home, etc. to love and enjoy despite the failure you experienced. If your attention on these brighter spots, you will find it easier to see the sunny side of the failure.
- Focus on reasons why the failure may have been good for you.
Can a failure be good for you? Believe it or not, the answer is Yes, absolutely! Now, that may seem like a strange way to think about failure, and if you have listened to anything I have shared here or in the past, you will know that I can often find that strange thought. (Listen to or read my previous posts on problem-solving.) Take time to consider why getting what you wanted could have worked out. In the heat of the moment, a failure can feel like the end of the world – however, succeeding at some things doesn’t guarantee that the future would have continued working out in your favor. Sometimes, failing at something signals the end of an event that could have led you down a different, perhaps even more harmful pathway.
Step away from the situation and look at it from the perspective of what you learned, what you have, and where you can go from here.
And don’t forget to
- Focus on your own humanity.
Nobody, I mean absolutely NOBODY is perfect, even if it seems that way.. We all make mistakes and fail. It is part of life. (Take a deep breath here, release it. All will be okay, hehe) You are going to experience your share of failing and mistake-making. That is a given. You can choose if you are going to wallow in self-pity or pick yourself up and move forward. When you fail, you are simply being human. Focusing on this reality can make it easier for you to see the sunnier side of failure and help you process your feelings more quickly.
And remember, this is your choice, no matter what others may say. This is your ray of light. Let it shine.
Changing your PERSPECTIVE will reveal new POSSIBILITIES for you to explore, creating open PATHWAYS onto which you can choose to PROCEED.