I did it again. I dropped the ball on something I was working on. I usually am on top of things. But this one slipped through the cracks. I immediately started the personal rant “I should not have this job” “I can’t do anything right” “I always screw things up”.
Well, that isn’t exactly true. I am very good at my job. I am also human. I am a wife, mother, grandmother, volunteer, homemaker……. Sometimes things slip. It doesn’t mean I am a failure, it simply means I failed in this one event.
Webster defines “abstract” as disassociated from any specific instance; and defines “absolute” as positive, unquestionable.
An “Abstract Absolute” occurs when you take one moment of non-success and make it into an ALWAYS.
Another example would be: I just messed up making dinner tonight. It didn’t turn out right. “I always do this. I cannot cook. I am a failure in the kitchen. I can’t even boil water!”
The truth in that scenario: I have fixed 3 meals a day without any problems for weeks/months/years. I had an issue tonight. That’s all it is. Something went wrong tonight with this one meal. I am a good cook who just didn’t fix a tasty meal this one time.
Have you spoken an Abstract Absolute to yourself? How do you step back and look at it accurately?
Something went wrong. You do what you can to fix. You move on. The incident failed, you are not a failure.
Think of ways to catch yourself using an Abstract Absolute in your speaking. Celebrate that you caught it. Move on. Watch the attitude of Absolute lessen over time.