How is your day going? Are you not having a good day? Everyone goes through it. All it takes is a little unasked-for criticism or someone just treating us harshly to trigger us into a spiral of negative self-talk and anxiety about not being liked.
It’s times like this you need to have a way of quickly reminding yourself of your worth. Here are some quick tips for getting yourself back on track even when life seems out of control.
Go into a Judgement-Free Zone
OK, so your thoughts aren’t what you wish they would be. You know you’re in a depressing cycle. Your emotions are all over the place, and you’re starting to hit critical mass when it comes to criticism. You already know you’re not supposed to be reacting this way. Then, to make your awful day a little bit worse, you start beating yourself up for how you’re treating yourself. It is time to take charge of your thoughts and reactions. Your first step must be to stop the negative spiral. Drop the judgment. Accept you’re having a bad day. It is a temporary thing. This moment doesn’t have to define you. With these thoughts firmly in mind, determine for yourself that it’s time to let things go.
Don’t ‘Should’ On Yourself
Why are you caught up thinking about ‘should’ anyway? The moment you start using this particularly devilish little word, you’re telling yourself what a failure you are. You become caught up in a vortex of perfectionism; you can’t possibly escape. ‘Should’ never helps anybody. It is time to choose to erase it from your vocabulary.
Stop Looking for Validation
Anytime you think someone else can give you what you need to feel good about yourself, you’re going to be disappointed. People will let you down. Even in the best relationship, it’s not healthy to use someone else to define who you are. This kind of thinking can be dangerous. What if the person you relied upon was no longer in your life? How would this then impact your self-worth? Know your worth, accept your worth, believe in your worth. It must come from you, not others.
Come to Terms with the Past
It’s time to separate your actions from yourself. When you make a mistake, acknowledge the error, do what you can to resolve it if possible, and move on. It was something that happened. The event or action is not you. Don’t get caught up in the shame or guilt. It only hurts you in the long run. There is nothing to be gained by victimizing yourself. Forgive yourself and move on.
Know Where You Excel
Remind yourself of your value. Take a moment to list off the things in which you excel. Acknowledge your accomplishments. A close examination of all the things gives you a solid reminder you are indeed worthy. Go a step further. Find something to remind you in a fun way. For example, I keep a plastic Princess tiara on my desk to remind me I am valuable. Sometimes I put it on. It makes me smile. It’s that smile that opens up my mind to allow the positive reminder to enter. Maybe a plastic tiara is not you. What would work for you? It can be something very subtle that no one but you would understand. That’s okay. This is for you. You are worthy. Remember it.
By paying attention to these five areas, you can quickly restore your self-worth. The key is to be alert and move quickly to head off negative thoughts before they undo all the hard work you’ve already put into yourself.
KNOW YOUR WORTH!